Saturday, April 19, 2014

Meditation on Memory






Echoes of early childhood ripple through my veins.
My uncle, his mannerisms so like my father’s
Triggers memories of his mother, my grandmother
Her voice, her stories, her tiny Florida cottage.
Blue river-waves slapping the bleached pilings
Of a dock ruined by a hurricane
In the pelicans skimming the water
I see the reflection of a photo
This dark haired little girl
Posing on a Miami dock, 1986,
Pelicans all around.
Sailboats docked in the marina,
Masts thrust heavenward
Transport me to Matheson Hammock,
My father’s great love of the sea and sails,
“Coming about” in our sailboat, scrambling to our tasks
My two brothers and I,
Our clumsy fingers fumbling the ropes, my father shouting,
We four lowering our heads for the boom.
My babysitting gig, this toddler named Noah—
He shares the name of the tow-headed brother
I raised on my hip
Before the sisters arrived.
It was another world.
These lizards, they’re everywhere—
I had forgotten.
Toddler Noah gives them heck and
I remember my brother Paul
The boy who caught lizards with his hands.
It was another world, a lifetime ago.
Those days when our family lived in their city of birth
When my experience of the other 49 states
Was limited to the plastic map above our dinner table,
That place where we ate meals together and played long guessing games.
The days before the bus, the boondocks, adventure, trauma
Moves upon moves, the cloistered life
The stories that fascinate and shock
The journey to normalcy
But not---
Because in my veins runs a passion for the unconventional.
These memories rush back from the days
When China was just a place in my favorite storybook,
Before I thirsted after Europe
Before I stomped through deep, brilliant Cambodian mud
Or lost my way among darkened Saigon streets
Or gripped a bamboo raft with my bare toes
As it whisked down a Thai river.
I have traveled so far
From these early moments
Those opening chapters.
And yet, the book turns back
The pages open---
Musty, forgotten, familiar
When I return—
A stranger.