Reversed Comfortability

In these days of reverse culture shock, when I was introduced to three Chinese students, I realized that was the first time that I felt completely comfortable with strangers since coming home.

My typical interactions with strangers have been measured, careful. Should I smile at that person who passes me on the sidewalk? What on earth do I do with the grocery store man who is trying to flirt with me? I know this lady at the gas pump thinks I’m stupid; she had to help me three different times within these five minutes. Watch what others are doing; make sure you’re not doing anything strange. Don’t appear weird. I run to my mom’s car after church, terrified of standing in the sanctuary surrounded by strangers who are all talking to each other.  I’ve spent enough time being a spectacle and I run from situations that might make me feel “spectacle-ish.” I heard about the singles’ Sunday school class but I can’t imagine going there since they have lunch first. Who would I sit with? Eating with strangers? It sounds terribly awkward…and right now the last thing I want to experience is awkwardness.

But when I was introduced to those three Chinese guys, I could “read” them. Here was one who tried to let others know that he is familiar with this culture (covering some insecurity), there was another one, mildly confident,  who looked like one of my dearest students back in China, and then a newly arrived one who seemed shy and nervous and was obviously more comfortable speaking Chinese. I always feel a little rusty when I haven’t spoken Chinese in over a month, but the boys were kind and we felt a sense of safety. The names of their hometowns were familiar to all of us, not mere “strange sounds.”  Here in this circle of strangers, we shared two things that no one else understood. We had all lived the life of a foreigner in a strange land, and we all loved China.

Best five minutes of my day.