Empathy Through Story (A Mini Series) Book 3: Dandelion Wine

Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury

Through this beautiful story, the reader truly feels the emotions of 12-year-old Douglas Spaulding during a very profound summer. If this book were a movie, the camera angles would mimic The Florida Project movie---low to the ground, the camera shooting from a child’s eye level. This book almost physically causes you to bend your knees and look at the world from the perspective of a boy who has just discovered he is alive.

Douglas’ outward behavior may appear puzzling and irritating at times, but he has elaborate, specific (childlike) reasons for his actions and he needs the kindness and understanding from people who can patiently sense what he is feeling. I still remember how gently Doug’s father responded to his sensitive, emotional son who appeared to have stolen the arcade witch. My first tendency would be to pronounce judgment on the child’s actions, but Doug had a whole list of reasons why he felt he needed to take the witch, and he needed someone to withhold judgment and respond with gentle questions and warm empathy.

I realized that I had forgotten how much one feels and notices as a child. This book gently taught me to empathize with children, reminded me to withhold my snap “adult” judgments, and invited me to notice, wonder, and to feel.

When one of my dearest friends gave birth to her first child, a son, I sent her this book. I can’t think of a better gift to give a parent, teacher, or anyone who works with children. I need to read it again.

Empathy Through Story (A Mini Series): Book 2: Ender's Game

Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

I love teaching this novel so much, because without it I would have no idea how to broach the topics of: the ethics of war (including self-defense), the effects of violence (even self-defense), the huge role of cross-cultural communication in war and peace, the ethics of military training, the role of empathy in leadership, the sanctity of life (is all life sacred?), and when does the end truly justify the means?

My students are drawn into these major discussions, because they care about Ender, and they feel his inner struggle. They learn to understand him, to predict his choices, and since they are invested in the story, they care about the questions that he cares about. They also bring their pre-conceived notions into class and debate these major ethical questions from their personal points of view, but Ender’s experience influences their discussions and prevents them from neatly wrapping up any argument. The nuanced, multi-layered nature of this story shows us all that these questions are tough, and since we care about Ender we want to explore these depths even if we have not personally encountered these questions in our own experiences.

We do an activity where the students personally decide if they agree or disagree with certain statements and then they have to discuss their reasons with classmates that hold the opposite views. Some of the heated discussions I have heard surround the statements: “Any action is acceptable in war” /“It is never right to use violence”/Bullies deserve what they get.” The students may have had neat and tidy answers for these questions before they became friends with Ender, but now there are more viewpoints, more examples. There is also much more empathy.

Empathy through Story: A Mini Series (Book 1: Speak)

When I think of the books that have deeply affected me, I think of the ones that have formed or reformed my perspective through story. Books that have taken issues I have forgotten, dismissed, misunderstood, or never considered and made them personal. 

I have learned to care and wrestle and introspect because the characters invited me into their worlds and helped me understand. I learned to empathize, to see the multiple layers present in conflict, ethical dilemmas, marriage, childhood, culture, friendships, family relationships; my heart-eyes opened easily because I was not threatened by these bookish characters. The deepest recesses of my heart have been confronted, enlightened, changed by my reading experience. Empathy changes everything, and the safest way to start building empathy is to pick up story.

I love when I sense that a book is teaching me empathy. I’m always in awe of the author’s craft; how did he/she make me care so much and help me understand so clearly without preaching at all? How did this writer speak to me through the nuances, through the blurred lines of the story? Most especially, how did this writer reach the hearts of my ESL students, language and cultural barriers notwithstanding?

I love it when a story alone does deep work in my soul.

I wanted to write a mini-series on books that have done this for me (and, at times, for my students). What better place to start than with classroom vignettes surrounding the novel Speak?

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

I have seen my students grow so much through reading the story of Melinda, a high schooler struggling with depression as a result of date rape. The thing is, through most of the story, the reader does not know what happened to cause this emotional pain because Melinda won’t talk about the event, even to herself. The people surrounding her are focused on her failing grades and avoidant behavior, but Melinda needs a safe person to talk to.

We read this book together and talk about depression, self-injury, counseling, friendship, and family communication, focusing on Melinda. Suddenly my students’ eyes are intense; they are talking to me about depression after class, sharing about a depressed friend during class discussions.

My students have never really learned about emotional health, and I love watching them dive into this territory, expressing compassion for Melinda and brainstorming ways to help her.

--The students in groups, creating a support group for Melinda

--The students in a therapy role play, re creating what is broken in Melinda’s family/communication, and practicing the art of listening.

--The students’ reflection essays, debriefing their No Speaking Project and expressing what they have learned about depression and lonely suffering

I learn so much as I teach this novel. I learn as I watch my students wrestle with questions that have no easy answers. 

How can I reach out to someone who is hurting, but avoidant? How can I recognize the signs of depression? What is the best way to support someone in their journey towards healing? Who is a safe person to talk to? How should families address real issues without pushing the hurt child farther into the darkness? What are alternative ways we can use in communication? What is the role of art therapy? What are healthy ways to deal with pain? Will ignored emotions go away? What are some open ended questions that are not accusatory, but will help us learn about what is going on inside? How often do we assume rather than observe?

Melinda Sordino is not a real teen. But she is very real to us. We hurt for her; we worry about her; we brainstorm ways to support her. She has made it tough for us to ignore our peers who may be hurting. She is teaching us empathy.